The Secret of How to Realize Your Dreams and Avoid an Unfulfilling Life

Rhonda“It is one thing to idolize heroes. It is quite another to visualize yourself in their place. When I saw great people, I said to myself: I can be there!” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

It was after midnight. She was walking alone down a quiet suburban street when, out of nowhere, two guys with brass knuckles attacked her for absolutely no reason. From the first blow, she could actually feel that her entire face and nose had shifted and, hours later, the x-rays confirmed that the entire right side of her face had been shattered in the attack.

But, believe it or not, this still wasn’t the first thing on Rhonda Rajsich’s mind that night.

See, Rhonda Rajsich had a dream. Since she was a kid, Rhonda was absolutely clear that she would become the number one world racquetball champion and that absolutely nothing would stand in her way. Living that dream has guided her every move and has influenced every decision she’s ever made.

But having a dream isn’t what makes Rhonda special. I mean, we all have dreams, right?

And what was special about Rhonda wasn’t that she overcame the tremendous physical and emotional pain of her injuries and returned to playing her beloved sport of racquetball either. It’s a nice story, but it’s not amazing.

What’s amazing about Rhonda’s story is how she used an ancient technique to recover from her injuries faster than was thought humanly possible, against all odds and to everyone’s shock and utter disbelief.

Using this technique, Rhonda Rajsich was able to undergo complete facial reconstruction surgery, spend weeks pumped up on pain medication lying in a hospital bed, lose more than 30 pounds of pure muscle on a 100% liquid-only diet and then, only 54 days after her surgery, Rhonda was able to get on a plane, fly to Ireland and become the number one world racquetball champion for the United States’ team, without even losing a single match.

How did she do that? Well, that’s exactly what we’re about to find out…

Requiem for a Dream

We have a problem. For the most part, we generation-y people (20- and 30-somethings) are not satisfied with our lives. We’re not “living the dream’’, we’re not fulfilled by the work that we’re doing and too many of us aren’t entirely clear on exactly why we’re getting out of bed in the morning.

The sad truth is that while school may have prepared you well for getting a good job, for the most part, school doesn’t teach you anything about how to realize your dreams or how to live a fulfilling life.

But even if you’ve spent years walking down what feels like the main road away from success – even if you’ve spent years working up to a job that you now realize absolutely does not fulfill you, fear not! You’re about to discover one of the most powerful success techniques for bringing your dreams back into focus and helping you avoid the trap of living life unfulfilled.

Roadmap for Success

First, let me start with a warning. What I’m about to share with you may sound, well, simple. It’s going to sound “easy” and it will probably be very hard to believe that this technique could be the creator of so much personal success.

But even though you probably never heard about this technique in all your years of traditional schooling, what I’m about to share has actually been taught in different cultures for thousands of years.

Not only that, but it’s also been the key ingredient in creating success for everyone from the Wright Brothers and Thomas Edison, to Bill Gates, Sir Richard Branson and even Steve Jobs. All of them knew this idea was instrumental for creating success and bringing their dreams to life, and Rhonda Rajsich’s story will show how it can do the same for you.

It’s called Creative Visualization (CV) and it can literally make your dreams come true.

Step One: Know What You Want

Rhonda knew from a very young age that she wanted to win the world championships and it’s been her guiding light ever since. The only reason she never fought back her attackers was that she “didn’t want to break [her] hand on his stupid face” and miss out on the chance to play at the world championships in Ireland.

Even when she lay recovering in her hospital bed and the doctors and coaches told her she wouldn’t be healed in time to compete, Rhonda was still absolutely clear about what she wanted to achieve, and knew what she would need to do in order to get there.

The Takeaway:

While “knowing what you want” might sound easy, the truth is that most people aren’t very clear at all about what they want most out of life.

Sometimes a fear of failure can prevent you from clearly laying out your most meaningful life goals. Sometimes a belief from childhood that you don’t really deserve success in your life can keep you from really dreaming of accomplishing anything at all.

There can be a thousand reasons why you might not by clear about what you want most out of life.

Either way, the very first thing you absolutely need to do in order to start bringing your dreams to life is form a concept of exactly what having your dream-come-true looks like!

What is your dream made of? What does it specifically look like and how will you know when you achieve it?

If your dream is to get paid for doing what you love, can you see exactly what that looks like? What is it you’re really passionate about doing and who will benefit from the products or services you provide?  

If your dream is to be a successful musician, what will musical success look like for you, exactly? Will it be a world tour with your band? A platinum selling CD? Or is the simple joy of being able to express your emotions and ideas through music and becoming a songwriter the kind of success you’re looking for?

Whatever your dream or goal in life is, the first lesson is that you need to be crystal clear in your mind about what every detail of your success will look like and be laser focused about what you really want to achieve.

Action Step:

  • Unless you know exactly where you are going, there’s a good chance you’ll get lost along the way. One of the most powerful things you can do to start bringing your dreams to life is to write your dreams and goals in life out on paper.
  • Once you have them written out, read over them at least once a day so that your goals stay crystal-clear in your mind.

Step Two: Taking Control While Letting Go

When Rhonda was recovering in the hospital and the world championships were less than two months away, she was told by the national governing body of racquetball that they weren’t going to let her compete. Worse though, the doctors said she had no chance to heal in time and her coach had already started looking for a replacement.

Furious at the news, Rhonda told the doctors, “you can rebuild me, but you can’t tell me when I’ll be ready.”

She realized that “…whether or not I go to the world championships is not in my control, but whether or not I’m ready to win the world championships is completely in my control.” 

After that, she says, she released everything she could not control to the Universe and focused only on the things that were within her control – like healing and getting in shape to play in the championship.

Her daily routine consisted of focusing on the parts of her body that were in the most pain and she visualized what those muscles, tissues and nerves looked like.

Then she visualized herself “holding their hand and giving them permission to heal”.

Whenever people would visit and say things like, “Oh, you poor thing!” Rhonda refused to listen and instead she would say,

I give myself permission to heal faster than they say I can; I give myself permission to win the world championships!”

Then, only 17 days after her surgery, Rhonda started training again on the open court.

Six days later, she voluntarily stopped taking all her pain medication.

Four days after that she registered in a local world outdoor racquetball tournament, and played in three divisions.

Then, only three weeks later, underweight, still on a liquid diet and wearing a protective facemask, Rhonda Rajsich went on to win the World Racquetball Championship in Ireland, without even losing a single match!

The Takeaway:

On the road to success and to fully living out our dreams, it’s easy to get sidetracked by things we can’t control. Sometimes resistance to our dreams comes from the inside, as we stir up old fears and insecurities about failure, or it can even come from outside, in the form of disbelief or disapproval from friends, family or coworkers.

Action Step:

  • Whatever you feel that you’re up against, remember that the Universe is bigger than you. Release your hold on anything that is outside of your control and focus your energy only on the things that you do control.
  • Since we often assume that everything is within our control, set aside five minutes before bed to go over what things in your life are really outside of your influence, and then consciously, mentally let go of them.

Step Three: Visual Workouts

How exactly did Rhonda recover from an insane physical assault, reconstructive face surgery, intense and lingering pain, nerve damage and extensive weight loss and go on to becoming the world racquetball champion all within sixty days?


She did Visual Workouts.

Since Rhonda couldn’t physically start training on a court until a full four weeks after her incident and surgery, she says she ran through her practice routine literally thousands of times, in her mind.

Psychologists say our minds can’t tell the difference between an experience that happens out “in the real world” and one that happens in our mind and Rhonda says she “visualized” every aspect of her practice, in excruciating detail, in her mind.

Too weak to run, she opened the front door of her seaside home and, while sitting quietly with her eyes closed, regularly visualized herself jogging down the beach and experienced every sound, smell and feeling of the “real-life” jogging experience in her mind.

She says that often, after a good visualization, the next day she would even wake up sore.

The Takeaway:

Wherever you see yourself headed, start “seeing” yourself heading in that direction! 

Visual workouts are the key to creating the success you’ve been dreaming about in your life.

Is your dream to become an entrepreneur and leave the grind of nine-to-five? Then start your daily visual workouts in your mind, running through the entire process of getting your new business off the ground. Experience the joy of how it feels to be in charge of your own destiny and see yourself facing the obvious challenges that arise with resilience and confidence.

Is your goal is to become a coach and help others achieve their goals of success? Visualize yourself engaged in one coaching session after another. See the detail of asking the right questions and of going through the often challenging process of finding clients and the feeling of joy from helping others to succeed.

Action Step:

  • Try starting your day off with at least 10 minutes of sitting quietly to do your visual workouts.
  • Sit with your eyes closed and see yourself going through all the action-steps that lead to your goal’s completion.
  • Experience the emotion of what it will feel like to succeed.

Realizing Our Collective Dreams

There may literally be hundreds of steps involved in going from where you are now to where you want to be in life. Exercising Creative Visualization – clearly seeing yourself involved in achieving your dreams – and “flexing” each one of those muscles over and over in your mind creates a tremendous force for creating success that has helped thousands of people to create unimaginable things.

The truth is, we all have dreams and this world will be much brighter, happier and more beautiful if more of our dreams come to life.

Instead of embarking on the journey of Creative Visualization by yourself, I invite to you to find a friend and take on this powerful practice together.

Nobody succeeds on their own and the more we can help each other to succeed, the more our collective success will be guaranteed!


About the Author

David-Bederman-Profile-PicDavid Bederman is the founder of Living Aha, a life-coaching company that helps people in their 20’s and 30’s escape disappointment and create a life they love living.

His new book called The Secret Sauce of Success is a practical roadmap designed specifically for people in this generation who want to figure out how to create more happiness, more success and a real sense of purpose in their lives.

David is an expert in the ancient success-wisdom of Kabbalah and believes that helping people discover their true greatness is the key to changing the world.

Wanna win some FREE coaching with David? Apply here.

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  • As a certified mental training practitioner I second that this stuff really works and it’s no news to the greatest athletes in the world. Michael Phelps is one example:

    Very inspiring article on the power of creative visualization David, well done! I’ll make sure to follow your blog. :)

    • Cheer’s Patrik! And thanks for the Phelps link..very inspiring!

  • Awesome!

  • Wow. This really inspires me. I saved a couple of articles on The Feel Good Lifestyle to read for later and this was the last one I read. For some reason I kept putting it off but when I finally got to reading it…WOW. Amazing post. Will definitely be coming back to do this for inspiration.

    • Thanks Tickikue – so glad you enjoyed it. Personally, I really enjoy writing about things that have been transformational in my life but it’s that much more amazing when others benefit too!
      Here’s to being inspired and living out our dreams!!
      Happy new year to ya!

  • Thanks Tickikue – so glad you enjoyed it. Personally, I really enjoy writing about things that have been transformational in my life but it’s that much more amazing when others benefit too!
    Here’s to being inspired and living out our dreams!!
    Happy new year to ya!

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