On Becoming Superhuman: How to Get Wiser, Increase your EQ, and Become Unstoppable

Reading Time: 10-15 minutes

“When I graduated from the Stanford Business School, I thought I needed to be Superhuman in order to be CEO one day.

But what I now understand after 2 dozen years in a leader role is that being a great leader isn’t about being Superhuman. It’s about being a Super Human.”

-Chip Conley, CEO Joie de Vivre
(Voted Most Innovative CEO in the San Francisco/Bay Area in 2007)

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article detailing how we can develop superhuman intelligence, and even become Limitless. It consisted of 10 proven tips to significantly improve our mental performance & unlock our brain’s full power. It was by far my most successful post so far.

2 days after publishing the article, I was leaving Australia and headed to Indonesia for a vacation. I was feeling GOOD!

Not only had I accomplished all I set out to do in Australia (Get my Master’s Degree/Figure out my life/Have a sweet time), but now I was free to lie on the beach, give my soon-to-be Limitless brain a break while enjoying the moment and… fantasising about the future.

One day, I was doing just that. It was a surreal setting, eerily similar to this poster that adorned my wall all year in Perth.

Life was great, and I didn’t have a worry in the world. Until… something hit me.

It wasn’t a falling coconut or an angry Indonesian dude, but rather a powerful realization. My Limitless article was a great piece, but it was incomplete. I had claimed that it offered the keys to a life in the fast-lane, but this wasn’t entirely true.

To really create our dream life, massive brainpower is great, but it’s not enough. We need to know how to harness that power.

We need the tools to use our newfound mental superpowers to accomplish more, to do good in the world, and to make other people’s lives better.

“With great power comes great responsibility” – Uncle Ben

Having a high IQ is one thing. Knowing how to use it is a whole other ballgame.

But if we combine exceptional brainpower with a high degree of emotional intelligence, we become… Unstoppable. 

Who really wins at life?

To put things in perspective, I want you to visualize 3 people from your life. Seriously, play along, it’s more fun & you’ll get a lot more from reading this article.

Visualize:

1)The most successful person you know. Not just from a financial standpoint, but from an all-emcompassing “life” standpoint.

Got it? Ok, I’ve got mine too.

2) The best teacher, boss, or coach you’ve ever had. That one person who truly inspired you the most to be the best that you could be, and with whom you had the most fun working.

Found it? Perfect.

3) What about the happiest person you know? The person who’s always in a good mood, who’s living life to the fullest, and seems to have great relationships with everybody.

All right, sweet!

Now let’s take a second to analyze what we just found:

Are these people super smart but selfish? Probably not.
Are they the highly technical but socially awkward? Doubtful.
Are they full of good ideas but too lazy to execute them? Very unlikely.
Are they full of knowledge but boring as hell? I’d be surprised.
Are they incredible story-tellers but shitty listeners? No way.

No, chances are, these 3 people are much more like this: a great personality, a big heart, a clear vision of the future, the ability to motivate themselves and a special way of connecting with others.

They are all people with an exceptionally high Emotional Quotient. They might be very smart as well, but above all they are Emotionally Intelligent.

Diving into Emotional Intelligence

“But once you are in that field, emotional intelligence emerges as a much stronger predictor of who will be most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.” ~Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

When this realization hit me, I ran off the beach and opened my luggage to find some learning stuff I’d brought along: a few books, my iPod, my notebook, my pen.
It was time to get busy again.

Just like I’d done previously with Neuroscience & Brain performance, it was time to explore a whole new dimension of human intelligence: Emotional Intelligence.

I was exceptionally lucky because, a few days before, I had missed my flight from Kuala Lumpur to Indonesia, and while killing 16 hours at the airport waiting for the next flight, I had bought 5 books.

Somehow the universe was on my side because all 5 books I bought were related to the concept of emotional intelligence in one way or another.

To make things even better, right before leaving home I had loaded my iPod with fresh learning stuff, including all 30 speakers from the recent Enlightened Business Summit. This year’s topic? Emotional Intelligence.

Needless to say, I had a lot of material to have fun with. So much for a vacation, it was time to learn. With my feet in the sand, of course, and frequent breaks to go for a swim in the ocean.

The Brain As a Computer

Through my research, I’ve come to realise that having a high IQ & and lots of brainpower is like having a super powerful computer. But a lightning-fast processor without good software, or even worse… with viruses on it, isn’t much use at all.

By building our IQ, we improve our brain’s hardware. That’s great, but it’s not what matters the most. Not even close.

According to Daniel Goleman, in his seminal book Emotional Intelligence, IQ represents only 20% of the “success formula”. Meanwhile, its close cousin the Emotional Quotient (EQ) counts for as much as 65% of success.

As Goleman puts it, “‘Emotional Aptitude is a meta-ability determining how well we can use other skills, including intellect.”

Increasing our EQ is like injecting jet-fuel into our life & shooting off in the direction of our dreams.

Can we really crank up our EQ?



“Yes, EQ is absolutely trainable and most people improve relatively quickly. Even highly technical people can learn these skills”Joshua Freedman, author of At the Heart of Leadership & leading Emotional Intelligence expert

The great thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it is highly trainable and just about anyone has the potential to develop a higher than average EQ. The only problem is? Very few people do it, partly because our society never talks about it.

Even a lot of very rich & “successful” people would benefit from paying more attention to their EQ. *cough* Wall Street *cough*

By developing these skills, we will not only become more successful, but we will also become happier.

It will improve our ability to connect with other people, to pursue goals effectively, find meaning in what we do, and keep negative emotions at bay while generating more positive ones, and just overall make the most of life.

Based on my research, my observations, and even a few experiments I conducted in Indonesia, here are the top 10 strategies to Get Wiser, Increase your EQ & Become Truly Limitless.

You’re about to enter the other side of a life in the fast-lane. Enjoy the ride! 

1) “What’s Up Right Now?”: Increase your Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is a prerequistite to start increasing your EQ. You can’t change something you’re not aware of.

There are 2 types of self-awareness required to really soar, and they are how we feel moment to moment (micro-level) and how we’re living our life overall (macro-level).

Let’s look at the micro-level, ”Moment to Moment” Self-Awareness:

As Tony Robbins like to points out, the quality of our life is simply the quality of our state, moment to moment. Am I feeling good? Am I tired? Am I pumped up? Am I grumpy?

We need to be able to recognize how we feel throughout the day because, as Joshua Freedman explains, we have A CHOICE. To a large degree, we choose how we feel.

Our emotions are pretty much like data for our mental computer. It tells us that something in our life is a bit out of sync.

One can read that data, we can do something good with it. The key is simply turn off the autopilot, and keep our state in check through the day. Whenever we feel lousy, it’s time to do something about it.

Everyone feels bad at times, but the difference between those who live a super happy life and the others is how long it takes them to get back to “feel good mode”.

2) Develop your Optimal State Toolbox

There are times when we feel a bit tired, a bit unmotivated, a bit “out-of-it”. It’s normal. But it doesn’t stay that way.

The first time I listened to Tony Robbins, he repeated like a million times how important it is to learn how to change our state. Because it really is. And it’s something I’ve been working on for the last 8 months or so.

Over time, I’ve developed a set of tools I use as SOON as I recognize that I’m not feeling good. Here are 3 simple ones you can use right away to get started:

1) Optimal Breathing 

Whenever you need a little mental boost (i.e., if you’re working on something and you get blocked), or if you’re slightly freaked out about something, take a couple diaphgramatic breaths.

Breathe in fully through your nose for 3 seconds

Hold your breath for 12 seconds

Breathe out for 6 seconds

Do that 2-3 times. It takes 1 minute and I guarantee you’ll feel better after. I take easily 20-30 of those throughout the day.

2) Hand on Heart + :) = <3

Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason, considers this to be the #1 trick to increase our happiness instantly.

The human heart has an incredibly strong magnetic field (5000x stronger than the brain’s) and by simply putting  our hand there we can tap in to that energy. And when we smile, we stimulate a hoist of feel-good neurotransmitters in our brain. Smiling literally makes us happy.

So it goes like this: put a hand on your heart, breathe as though you were breathing “through” your heart. Smile. And every time you breathe in, imagine you are breathing joy, love, and ease.

I know it can sound a bit silly, but hey, it works! Do it for a minute and you’ll feel happier and more relaxed.

3) Music is my Hot Hot State

Music has been a part of human society for a really long time because it has a way unlike anything else to change and shape our emotional state.

There’s just so much good music out there, from all different genres… Whenever you want to feel more of  a certain way, just pump up a few tracks you love and get into it. I’ll listen to trance for 2 hours to get my work done, and then maybe a listen to a couple Colbie Caillait tracks as I wind down. But music makes everything better, and can make us FEEL better if we use it properly.

Bonus Feel Good Points: Busting dance moves & fist-pumping to good songs is a great way to feel even more awesome.

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There are A LOT of other little tricks you can use throughout the day to change your state & feel better, and in my upcoming eBook, The Feel Good Guide, (release date: Jan 31st if everything goes well), I will be sharing 25 of them to help you feel good all day everyday day.

3) Discover who you Truly Are

Kent Thiry, CEO of DaVita, and ranked in the top 10 of Emotionally-Intelligent  CEO’s, defines Emotional Intelligence as “intelligent insight into yourself & others”.

Insight into yourself. Hmmm.

We need to look within our self, and really figure out what’s happening in there, before we can make some significant changes to how we show up in the world.

The best way to do that is to do a few simple mental exercises exercises. They’re not long, they’re free, but they require that you be really honest with yourself, unlike our buddy Homer in the picture.

This isn’t about impressing anybody, it’s about getting more clarity into yourself so you can become You 2.0.

Here are 3 great tests to get you started:

-Strengths & Weaknesses

This is very simple: just sit down, and take time to list all your strengths, and all your weaknesses. Come on, you know what they are: just be honest.

-360 Test

This is something that a lot of top organisations around the world use. It’s a bit scary, probably quite eye-opening, and I haven’t had the balls to do it yet. But basically what you do is create a simple questionnaire where you ask people to rate you in different categories and to help you see clearly what your strengths are and… *dum dum dummm* your weaknesses as well.

-The Deathbed Exercise

This is an exercise that Marshall Goldsmith, one of the top executive coaches in the world, gives to most of his clients (mostly Fortune 500 CEO & Executives) to help them live a more meaningful life while increasing their EQ:

Imagine you’re 95 years old and you’ve only got a few hours left to live. And you’re looking back on your life, the great things you did and the mistakes you made.

If at that point in your life, you could give yourself 2 pieces of advice:

1) The one thing you should do differently in your personal life

2) The one thing you should do differently in our professional life

It’s that simple. The answers are already inside you, and you can probably figure it out rather quickly.

In case you’re curious, when I did that exercise I decided to

1) Trust my heart, my instincts, and my guts more.

2) Go for it big time. Work hard, be focused, and really believe that I can make a dent in the universe.

4) Decide Who You Want to Be & Get Busy Livin’

All right, now that we’re starting to figure out who we truly are, it’s time to have fun and think about who we truly want to be.

Remember all those traits that we admire from the most successful people, the happiest person, and the best leader we know? We can have them too.

But first, we have to take a minute to identify what traits exactly we want to acquire, and get a real clear image of the best version of ourselves.

Here are 3 great exercises to do that:

1) The Eulogy Exercise

Also known as, The 5 Minute Exercise That Can Change Your Life, it’s a great way to picture the kind of person we really want to be.

Basically, imagine it’s your funeral, and people are getting up on stage to say their last words about you. Now write down what you’d like people to say when that actually happens.

What traits did you exhibit in your life? How did you show up in the world? How did people describe you?

2) Shooting the Arrow

This is a practice that Tibetan Buddhist monks do after each mediation session, when their brain is in an optimal state. They simply picture themselves how they’d love to be that day, and in the future. The visualise themselves behaving exactly the way they want to behave. Then they get up, and they go be that person.

3) Rate your score

Once you start working on one of your weakness (for me, impatience is #1), every night give yourself a score on how you performed on that weakness. That will definitely increase your awareness, and motivate you to pay special attention to that trait during the day.

***

From there, it’s just a matter of getting busy, and working hard everyday on ourselves. By getting 1% better everyday, it doesn’t’ take very long before we get 100% better.According to Daniel Goleman, it takes about 3-6 months before we can really start re-inventing ourselves.

3-6 months to become the type of person who will kick ass for the next 30, 50 or even 100 years? Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

5) Fantasise about the Future

I read Richard Branson’s biography while travelling, and he’s a good example of a guy who doesn’t have the highest IQ (he was dyslexic, wasn’t doing well in school, and didn’t go to University.

But he had an exceptionally high EQ and that’s why he’s had the success he’s had. And why he has his own house on a deserted island and hangs out with supermodels all the time.  Life in the fast-lane anybody?

In his biography, he admits that fantasising about the future has always been one of his favourite past-times. Owning his deserted island? Before it was a reality, it was just an idea in his mind he had several years before.

Dreaming big is not only useful to becoming successful, it’s almost a pre-requisite. You can only achieve something as big as what you envision.

Here’s a quick & really fun (my favourite of all) exercise to start dreaming big and seeing your future.

Richard Branson living it up at Necker Island

Take a piece of paper, and take 10 minutes to write down EXACTLY how you want your life to be in 1 year. (That’s mine on the right)

In a perfect world, what would you life be like?

-Where would you live?

-What would be your work?

-What would you look like?

-Who would hang  out with?

-What would your girlfriend/boyfriend be like?

-What kind of activities would you do?

Just let your mind go wild and have fun with it. As David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. writes in The Magic of Thinking Big, “No one accomplishes more than he sets out to accomplish. So visualise a big future”. I am a firm believer that “anything you can conceive, you can achieve”, so don’t be afraid to think big.

It’s more fun, and it’ll pay off big time down the road. 

***

Now that you’ve had fun with that, it’s time to come back down from the clouds and onto the earth.

Having a big-time vision of our future is not enough: we need to connect it with our present, and build a bridge between the two. And that’s called “goals”.

Right after doing the Dream Life exercise, when you’re all pumped up, is a great moment to set goal for this week, this month, and the next 3 months. Each little goal is a building block for something bigger.

Enough little steps, and soon you’re at the top of the mountain.

6) Develop the H.O.P. of success

For the last 3 months, I’ve been studying the science of success and trying to figure out what sets exceptional achievers from anyone else.

And it boils down to 3 personality traits:

“Hunger, Optimism, Persistence”

Hunger is the fire within, it’s what helps us work hard day & day out towards our goals. Hunger comes from combining our goals with our passions.

Optimism is the faith that everything will work out, and it comes from knowning we’re ultimately in control of our destiny.

Persistence is the ability to keep going when the going gets tough. It comes from character and from hunger.

No worthwhile project will ever go smoothly from start to finish. And we’ve all been there, we were working on something great and then half-way through we hit an obstacle, and gave up. And now we have to live with that terrible “what-if” feeling forever…

I really like this quote from Dan Millman in Everyday Enlightenment: “By remaining productive in difficult emotional episodes, you are more likely to improve your emotional state than if you do nothing but ruminate & wait for sunny skies” .

***

Being hungry, optimistic, and persistent is not always easy, but who said life always had to be? Every person you see on TV who’s enjoying glory has had to spend years and years working in the shadows to prepare for that moment. It’s called “The Grind Before The Glory”.

But I’m sure if you asked these now if it was worth it… They’d give you a resounding “Oh Hell Yeah!”

So let’s get busy on those goals and prepare for the amazing rewards that will come our way in the future.

7) Listen like a Pro

Listening is such an important skill, yet we rarely take time to study & improve it.

Think about a person in your life who’s a really good listener. I bet your really enjoy hanging out with that person. It’s normal, because we all love talking, especially

when we feel like the other person is really into what we’re saying.

Being a great listener is amazing for 2 reasons:


1) It’s quite simply the easiest & fastest way to make friends. 
2) It’s an amazing way to learn new stuff & become wiser
John Donahoe, CEO of eBay, and another member of the EQ Top 10 for CEO’s, likes to use this strategy: “Everytime I have an interaction with people, I ask myself “What can I learn from them?” and I try to look for their strengths.”Here are a few quick tips to become a better listener:
1) Ask lots of questions & follow-up questions(Develop your ability to find common ground between you and others, so you can ask question your care about. If you’re “fake listening” but really thinking about something else, people will feel it.)
2) Look at people in the eyes
3) Express emotion with your face 
It’s not really rocket science, but it does take some practice (I’m working on this a lot myself these days).

 

8) Rock World-Class Body Language

Did you know that a whopping 93% of communication is non-verbal? That’s right, 93%! Crazy isn’t? I learned that while watching the Documentary “Secrets of Body Language” (you can watch it for free here.)

That’s because if we can go back through evolution, our early ancestors didn’t really speak, they just grunted at each other, so they learned to communicate without using words. Intonations, movements, facial expressions were all they used to connect with each other.

Body language is an absolutely fascinating field, and one well-worth mastering. Here are the key areas:

a) Smile

A great smile is absolutely one of our greatest assets in the world. It allows us to connect with others, to make ourselves feel better, to spread joy in the world.

What makes a great smile?  Well I think we can all recognise one when we see it.

But as Guy Kawasaki puts in it Enchantment, we have to make “crow’s feet”. This means that you should smile so big that it makes your eyes squint and the muscles on the side of your eyes should contract. This is called a “Duchenne” smile.

While I was in Indonesia, since I couldn’t communicate well with people, I focused on smiling a lot. I can tell you, from about 1000 people I smiled at while walking around (and some, very stern-looking old men) at least 997 returned the favour. Our reaction to a smile is hard-wired:  when we see someone smile, our mirror neurons automatically fire off and we smile too.

So smile. It’s easy, it’s free, it makes the world a better place and people will like you more for it.

If you want to find even more awesome reasons to smile more, check out this great TED Talk:

b) Eyes

“The eyes are the windows to the soul”

The way we look at people tells a lot about us, and can really make us or break us when we’re meeting new people.

You try seducing a hot girl (or guy) and you keep looking at  your feet? You’re dead in the water.

You try to inspire your team but your eyes show that deep down you have big doubts? They’ll feel it.

Our eyes really can betray us, or help us become a better version of ourselves.

If you’re interested in this, I highly recommend you read this article about the power of eye contact. It uses Bill Clinton as an example and I’ve learned a few very helpful tricks in there (best one: lingering eye contact).

c) Posture

A nice straight posture just looks better, and conveys more confidence.

This is actually something I”ve been working for a LONG time. As a former swimmer, I started getting hunched over, and I still remember seeing myself in a mirror and thinking.. WTF?? I was starting to look like a friggin’ hunchback.

So I committed to sitting up straight, and my spine is fine now.

When you walk, when you sit, whatever, try and be conscious of it. Makes a huge difference.

d) Handshake

In Enchantment, Kawasaki actually offers the mathematical formula to a perfect handshake, but here’s what it boils down to:

-Make eye contact through out

-Make a Duchenne Smile

- Stand a reasonable distance from the other person, and shake their hand halfway

-Give the hand a firm squeeze (but not bone-crushing)

-Use medium vigor in the “shake”

-*Bonus* Make sure you remember their name! Remembering + using someone’s name is a great way to increase our “likability”.

9) Develop Mind Trading

Mind trading is a very interesting, and important Jedi Mind Trick to Master. It requires us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, and try to see things from their perspective.

We can then talk to people in the way that truly touches them. It helps us inspire them, we can motivate them, can make them laugh and console them. It helps us connect with them on a deeper, more meaningful level.

Just like anything, this takes some getting used to, but it’s very powerful when we master it.

I’m afraid I don’t have any quick-tricks to help you develop your mind trading, except that you remember that each human being is different, not only genetically, but also from all the experiences we’ve been through in our lives. The more we can understand these differences, the more we can start connecting deeply with other human beings.

10) Nice Guys Finish First

Ultimately, to become unstoppable, I believe we have to focus on becoming a good person, one that other people enjoy being around.

Study after study shows the importance of likability as a predictor of success. Guy Kawasaki talks about it extensively in Enchantment.

Straight up, if people like you, you have a MUCH greater chance of making it in the world. 

Everyday, as we going through our day, we have several opportunities to spread joy in the world, and to be more likeable.

We each have our own “Positivity Blueprint”. Every time we have a interaction with someone, we have a chance to either make their day a little better, or not. Everytime we talk to someone, we leave a comment on Facebook, when we send a text message, we can make a little positive contribution to someone else’s life.

Being a nice guy/gal is really within our power. It takes a bit of effort, but the world gives it back our way tenfold.

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Here you have it. If you apply everything you’ve learned in the first limitless article, and all that’s in here, wow.. I can’t wait to see what happens to you.

You’ll not only have the brains of a genius, but you’ll be smooth in social settings, you’ll connect deeply with others, you’ll be able to motivate yourself and stay on track with your dreams. Life’s gonna be good.

Seriously- I know there’s a ton of content in there, and we can’t do all this in a day. But in 1 year? Oh boy, a lot of things can change.

All right, this time, I’m telling you for real:

Have fun, and see you in the fast-lane! :)

Phil

PS As always, I’m happy to help out with any of this stuff. Hit me up in the comments or by email at phil@feelgoodlifestyle.com.

And please share this post, because that’s how more people can unlock their full potential for greatness

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Posted on : 22, Dec 2011

13 Comments

  • Brilliant article. There are so many things there that are pretty much common sense, but which so many people forget and fail to implement. Simple things like smiling and making eye contact can make all the difference.

    I’m interested in #5. I totally see the logic and power in visualising your future and setting goals, but I’ve recently read a post which changed my mindset about goals a little (http://zenhabits.net/100-days/). If we lived without goals and without the need to constantly be striving for the next achievement, we could learn how to be happy in the current moment. If we practise self-awareness and self-compassion in the present, our natural instincts may guide us to the right place for us in the end. Joshua expresses the concept more effectively than I can! It’s certainly given me food for thought.

    • Thanks Rebecca! You’re right most of this is so simple, yet we forget all the time. Regular reminders are important (and why I’ve started re-”skimming” some of my favourite non-fiction books from time to time).

      RE: Goals.. Thanks for sharing the article, it’s really interesting.. I keep going back and forth between having goals & no goals.. I think it depends on the personality type to be honest. I reckon if you’re a highly conscious + driven person, you’ll have a clear idea of where you want to go even without goals.. and you’ll be able to flow better without them.

      HOwever, I think for most people, drive & direction is what they’re currently lacking so goals can be really useful.. They do add a bit of stress though, that’s for sure..

      I’m interested to hear more on your perspective about this.. what “strategy” have you decided to go for? No-goals for a while?

      • I hadn’t thought about personality types, but I can definitely see that having goals would be useful for someone who isn’t particularly motivated until they have something to work towards. I flit between having goals and having no goals. I tend to have large goals (for example, I kind of know where I want to be heading and what I want to achieve), but I don’t always have smaller goals (such as what I’ll do on a daily basis). I don’t yet know how compatible these two approaches are… I just have to hope that having no daily goals and just doing what my instincts tell me will eventually lead me to my end goals! But then what? The trouble with goals is what happens when you’ve met them. Do you accept that you’re where you should be, or do you find something else to work towards?

        • Cool- I think that sounds like a pretty good approach. The large goals are the most important IMO. They kinda program your subconscious to do all the right things everyday. I don’t really have daily goals, but definitely have to some sort of To-Do list or else it’s so easy to get sidetracked everyday.

          And I’m pretty sure by the time you “get there”, you already have your sights set on something higher.. You’ll have evolved as a person, you’ll have an even bigger vision.

          Your comment definitely got me thinking though.. I think lately I’ve been living in the future too much.. fantasising & dreaming about how good things will be 6-12 months from now when I’ve accomplished all that I want.. but really, right now is all we have. So simple, yet we forget it all the time..

          • This is really good

  • Great article Phil!
    I like the fact that your unconscious mind made you buy the books you needed later :).

    And perhaps without knowing a nice reference to the book Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max.

    • Hey Ernst, thanks a lot! Hahah yeah the subconscious is damn powerful, it’s actually something I want to learn more about in the next few months.

      But yeah deep down, even though I’ve been having a lot of fun with the IQ stuff, I’ve known that managing our emotions/relationships is certainly more important in the big picture.

      Lol no I wasn’t thinking about that, more so to Green Day’s song. Tucker Max is not your typical asshole though, that guy is super smart.. so not really representative of the whole asshole population :P

      • I have been listening to the Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracy, not sure if I found the book through one of your blogs but definitely worth the time.
        One of the chapters goes into the subconscious mind and was for me personally a mind-opener.

        Indeed Tucker Max is quite smart but he is just using his knowledge and social skills to be an asshole compared to the most assholes who by not having any social skills are assholes, right? At least that is how I would define the typical asshole.

        • Haven’t listened to that one yet but I’ll check it out when I get a chance. Love listening to Audiobooks- such an easy/fun way to learn!

          Haha, “The Psychology of Assholes” :P

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