How To Date High Caliber Singles

dating_photoOne of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your life is who to spend to spend it with. Having worked as a dating coach for a number of years now, I’ve had an amazing opportunity to work with a lot of men helping them become more desirable and communicate their authentic self to beautiful women.

What Makes Someone High Caliber?

First of all, let’s define what a high caliber single is. I’m not talking about looking like a fashion model from Milan stepping out of a red Ferrari onto Hollywood Blvd. What I’m referring to are individuals who put a high level of regard into making each day their masterpiece. It’s about defining what you want to get out of life and putting in 100% of your effort to make it a reality.

If you’re reading this article, I’m sure you’re the kind of person who puts a lot of value in yourself and your personal development. You want to get more than what’s average and to really live a feel good lifestyle.

Dating Someone For The Right Reasons

Just like most singles, meeting someone worthwhile ranks high on my list of priorities. My time and energy are extremely important to me and I want to be able to share them with someone I’m compatible with.

Since human beings are creatures of habit, how you do one thing is how you do everything. The relationships you have in your life are a direct reflection of how you see yourself internally. You will mirror other people’s self-esteem based on your own.

This applies directly applies to romantic relationships as well.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably dated people in the past who were not really a good fit for you. Personally, I didn’t really have a whole lot going on for me in my younger years. I hated my job, was overweight and really unsure what to do with my life.

Because of that, being in a relationship was where I got my sense of self-worth and validation. My self-esteem depended on other people’s opinion of me. I dated one girl after the other, trying to look for a sense of fulfillment.

I never found it.

I knew that if I kept doing what I was doing, I’d get the exact same results. I had to try something different. Nowadays, when I meet people, I’m able to come from a place of wanting them in my life without any attachment to the outcome.

I wanted to share my experience with you and save you all the headaches I personally had to go through. Here are five things I learned along the way. Read these lessons and learn from my mistakes.

How To Date High Caliber Singles

Know Thyself

Learning how to date high caliber singles starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Take the time and understand the value you already have as a person. The more self-aware you are, the more you’ll begin to project that into all the relationships you have in your life.

Self-confidence comes from self-competence. Individuals who immerse themselves into personal development have a very good understanding of this. Since they always aspire to become better versions of themselves, they begin to expect more from all aspects of their lives.

When people spend a lot of time aligning every minute of their day to their passion and purpose, their standards for who they surround themselves with automatically go up as well.

Who is Your Ideal Partner?

The relationships you have in your life are a direct reflection of how you view yourself. You will only go for the kinds of people who you think are “in your league.” If you don’t think you deserve someone worthwhile, then you’ll act in a way that will prevent you from going for someone worthwhile.

If you want someone who’s independent, confident, active and well-dressed, what makes you think they don’t want the same thing? Groom yourself to be the perfect person first, before looking for the perfect partner. Know what kind of person you want in your life and act in a way that will attract them to you.

Looks Do Matter

People treat others based on their perception of them. That’s why it’s so important to take care of your appearance. You may be really smart and interesting, but few people are going to give you the time of day if you don’t take care of your external image.

What if you’re not born with ‘Hollywood good looks’? Fear not! You can make yourself more desirable simply by taking care of your fitness and dressing better. Maintain an active lifestyle and make sure your clothes are clean, well fitting and up-to-date.

Groom your hair, brush your teeth, wear deodorant and you’ll instantly be above average. People just want to know that you care about yourself.

Location, Location, Location

I’m amazed to see a lot of my friends complain about not meeting quality singles when they’re looking in the wrong places to begin with.

Here’s a fact: Most people don’t want to meet their significant other in the nightclub. Now I’m not saying there aren’t any quality singles that go to the bars. They’re just a lot harder to find.

If you want someone who you’re going to have a high level of compatibility with, you have to be able to make that connection immediately.

Proximity is power. The more you put yourself in places and situations where your ideal person spends time, the higher chance both of you will meet each other.

Personally, I really enjoy meeting people during the day. Not only is it much easier to talk to them, there’s also virtually no competition since nobody else is doing it. I’d rather approach someone at a coffee shop, gym or even at the grocery store than the club.

There Is No Quick Fix

Change is a process, not an event. Anything worthwhile takes time and hard work. If you’re serious about learning how to date high caliber singles, you have to be in it for the long haul. Learning techniques and strategies might get you what you want for a night, but I can guarantee you won’t be able to keep it.

To sum things up…

Build The Most Important Relationship First

Be willing to do the work that nobody else is willing to do. Being with an extraordinary person means you have become an extraordinary individual yourself. The most important relationship you have to build is the one you have with yourself.

For the meantime, I highly encourage you to shift your focus away from dating and back to yourself. The more you aspire to create an attractive life, the more desirable you become. Your image, fitness, mental health and lifestyle are things that you can do something about as soon as you finish reading this article.

Define what your ideal life looks like and make a list of things that you can do today to start taking steps in that direction. Do this consistently and over time, your perfect day will be a regular day for you. Dating high caliber singles will become an extension of your own identity as a complete, high caliber person.

About the Author

Myke Macapinlac

Myke Macapinlac is passionate about inspiring men take purpose-driven action to design a lifestyle worth inviting women into. As a dating coach and author, he actually doesn’t help men get girls, he gives women good guys.

When he’s not writing, speaking or coaching, he’s either at the gym or cooking something delicious. He also drinks a lot of coffee and sings himself silly in the shower.

To find out more about him, you can visit his website, check out his book “Magnetic Dating: A Gentleman’s Guide to Attracting his Ideal Woman the Honest Way” and say hello to him on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin.

email
"PS. Ever feel overwhelmed when trying to reach your goals? Watch my TEDx talk to learn how to stop slowly killing yourself while accomplishing more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M9i3-QhWzg&t=565s"
Posted on : 2, Mar 2014

7 Comments

  • Great article, Myke! I absolutely love the concept of “living a life worth inviting someone into”. It’s akin to the idea of focusing on yourself as a whole person, rather than focusing on finding someone who will fill whatever emptiness/lack you perceive…

    • Thank you Ginger! Yes, it’s about becoming a complete person on your own first before bringing somebody else in the picture.

  • Good points here. You’ve got to become the full package yourself before anyone can find you attractive. People see through “the image” of pasted on makeup or over compensating on big muscles pretty soon. A lot of people look for these quick fixes that they think will solve all their problems. It’s got to start from way down deep in yourself at a solid base, then everything else will come naturally.

    • I agree Jimbo. Most people don’t realize that the relationship they go for is a reflection of their self-esteem.

  • Great read, even better advice.
    How has it worked for your personal experiences / love life?

    • I’m in a very happy and fulfilling relationship at the moment with a high caliber woman! :)

  • Great article! “Know thyself” – most important thing out there eh!

So, what do you think?